Certain Uncertainty
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: An unexpected run-in at a convenience store leaves Elliot Stabler with unanswered questions and a heartache so painful, it was certain to never fully dissipate.
1. Collide

My 600th story. I finally felt like addressing the whole debacle that was Chris/Elliot's sudden and unexplained departure, and this is what I came up with. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Not mine!

SVUSVUSVUSVU

Elliot Stabler sighed as he stepped into the mini-mart. He hadn't been in this part of Manhattan in almost three years, and with good reason. After shooting a teenage girl and taking her life, he had fallen apart entirely. Eventually he resigned from the squad without even saying goodbye to the woman who had been his partner and best friend for over thirteen years. Olivia. Just the thought of her and the way he had handled things broke his heart all over again. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have just abandoned her like that, when he had sworn that he would never hurt her that way?

The florescent lights overhead made his head pound. He had not seen Olivia since then, mostly due to the fact that Kathy had urged him to quit, or at least transfer to another department. She had done that many times, but after shooting that girl, he finally gave in to her request. He wanted to keep his family together and give himself a fresh start in the process, but at what cost? The job he loved? His best friend, the woman who knew him better than anyone else in the entire world? He had not so much as called or even sent a letter to her, and it was killing him. How could he have been so cold?

Making his way down the aisles, he dropped items into the basket he had picked up at the front of the store. That decision had only lasted for so long. He had tried so very hard to make things work with Kathy. She was the mother of his children, his first love, and she meant more to him than she would ever know. But in the end, it still wasn't enough. And he couldn't go crawling back to Olivia again, not after all the times she had picked up the pieces after he split from Kathy. And especially not after disappearing completely from her life. He wasn't sure he could ever make that right with her.

Caught up in his own thoughts, he didn't notice the woman who stood with her back to him until he ran into her. "Oh, I'm sorry…"

The words died on his lips as the woman turned around and familiar brown eyes stared up at him in shock and disbelief.

"Elliot?"

Stunned, he took a step backward and took her in. Three years had added a few more lines to her beautiful face, but she was still the same.

Except now, she had a child on her hip.

Brushing her hair out of her face, Olivia did her best to smile. "Hi…" Was he really there in front of her? She hadn't seen or heard from him in almost three years, and suddenly there he was, in the flesh and so close that she could smell his aftershave. Instinctively she adjusted her little daughter on her hip.

"Hey…" He shifted uncomfortably, completely lost for words. Obviously she had moved on; could he blame her? Did he really expect her to wait forever for him? Maybe some small part of him did, but it wasn't right or realistic. She deserved to be happy, too.

They stood there, staring at each other for the longest time, until Olivia finally moved.

"It was nice seeing you, Elliot. But I have to get Molly home."

"Molly," he whispered.

Olivia nodded. "Her name is Molly Grace."

Elliot couldn't help but quickly calculate how old Molly must have been. It couldn't be… "Beautiful," he managed weakly.

"Thank you." Olivia kissed her daughter's head. "Goodbye, Elliot."

"Olivia…"

She shook her head sadly and turned around, taking Molly with her. Molly peered over her mother's shoulder, at the man they were leaving behind, and Elliot felt his heart sink.

She had his eyes.

The End.

A/N: Thank you all for reading. I'm not sure when I'll return to the SVU fandom again, but I'll try not to stay away too long. Please review and let me know what you thought of this. Happy reading.


	2. Begin Again

I couldn't help myself after the premiere. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Not mine!

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

"Olivia…"

Olivia couldn't get the heartbroken sound of her best friend's voice out of her head. She had not seen him in years, hadn't received so much as a phone call or a post card. After he shot the teenage girl, there was one night before he disappeared from her life completely. For weeks, she had hated him and loved him for that one night. Then…

"Mama."

Olivia smiled at Molly. She had tried to contact Elliot after she found out she was pregnant, but he never responded to her calls or emails. So she eventually gave up and tried to move on with her life. After all, she finally had the baby that she had wanted for so long. Still smiling, she unlocked her car and strapped Molly into her carseat. Then she closed the door and slid into the driver's seat.

The ride home was quiet, the only sounds coming from the backseat. Molly babbled happily to herself and giggled, lessening the ache in Olivia's heart. She was Elliot's child, and sometimes the pain of that knowledge was too much to bear. But sometimes, she could look at Molly and see every good thing she had done in her life.

Five minutes later, she pulled up to her building and got out. Then she retrieved Molly from her carseat and grabbed the groceries with her free hand. She was almost to her steps when she heard a breathless voice shout.

"Olivia!"

Stunned, she turned around and saw Elliot jogging up the sidewalk. Feeling sick, she set the groceries down and held Molly tight. "What are you doing here, Elliot?"

"I… I knew you wouldn't move," he gasped out, his eyes focusing on the little girl in his former partner's arms. He had no doubt she was his.

She took a step back, still holding Molly close. "I need to get inside."

"Olivia, please. Talk to me."

"About what?" Olivia snapped. "About how you abandoned me? About how you never so much as sent a postcard? About how I thought you were dead?"

He flinched in the face of her venomous words. "Liv…"

"No. You lost the right to call me that when you left me." Olivia looked at Molly. "When you left us."

"Jesus Christ, Liv, I didn't know." His face fell. "I never even thought…"

"Yeah, well…"

There was a long, awkward pause, and right when Elliot was about to say something, a door opened.

"Olivia? What are you doing out here?"

The lines on Elliot's face deepened as he struggled to identify the man who approached Olivia. It wasn't until he spoke again that Elliot finally recognized him.

"It's freezing." He removed his jacket and wrapped it around Olivia. Then he kissed her cheek lovingly before looking at the man standing on the sidewalk. "Stabler?"

Elliot swallowed hard. "Cassidy. Long time, no see."

From under the coat, Molly squealed and poked her head out. "Daddy!"

Brian laughed and welcomed Molly into his arms. "Hi, princess." He snuggled her for a moment, then kissed Olivia softly. "I'll take the cupcake and the groceries inside. I'm sure you have a lot of catching up to do."

Olivia glanced at Elliot, torn between wanting to join her family and needing to get some closure on the abrupt ending of the longest, most stable relationship she had ever known. "Okay. I'll be in there in a minute." Leaning up, she pressed her lips softly to his.

He held her close until she finally pulled away. Then, after casting a look toward Stabler, he carried Molly and the groceries into their apartment.

Once Brian and Molly were inside, Olivia slowly stepped closer to Elliot.

Elliot watched her, hurting and knowing there was a time when she wasn't afraid to stand so close to him. "How long…?"

Her arms crossed defensively. "Since just after Molly was born."

"Are you…?"

"Married? Engaged? Does it matter, El?" But she noticed his left ring finger was suspiciously bare.

"Of course it does, Olivia." He swiped his hand angrily over his face.

"No, it doesn't. You disappeared from my life, from our lives. Molly loves Brian, and so do I."

"More than you love me?"

His simple question nearly brought her to her knees. Of course he knew she loved him; who didn't? But when he left her alone and pregnant with his child, that love changed, even though it didn't disappear completely. She would always love him for giving her Molly, but she had finally built a life separate from him and the memory of what they had, what they could have had.

"Answer me, Olivia," he begged.

"Yes," she finally managed. Her heart leapt into her throat, making it impossible for her to swallow. "I love him more."

He reached out and gently grasped her elbow. "Olivia…"

"I love them. They're my family." Her words were choppy and broken. "I'm sorry, Elliot."

"Olivia, just listen to me. I screwed up. I never should have left you. But please… please hear me out. I don't want to leave you again. I don't want to lose Molly."

"She's not your daughter, Elliot. She's Brian's."

"She's my flesh and blood, Olivia. She's a part of me."

"A part that you didn't want." The words that passed her lips were scathing and unforgiving. "You need to leave. Now." It no longer mattered what she wanted. What mattered was what was best for her family. She loved Brian, and the three of them made sense. She wasn't about to lose what they had because Elliot had waltzed back into her life looking to screw it all up again.

"Liv…"

"Go." Turning around, she took a step toward the building. But before she could move further, his hand shot out and grasped her elbow. He caught her offguard, and the next thing she knew, his lips were on hers. She struggled against him, but he held her tight, his hands firmly pressed against the small of her back.

The kiss lasted too long, and yet not long enough. Her hands went up to his chest, while his ran through her thick hair. All the pain and grief they had both experienced over the past three years, all the resentment and lost happiness, was present in that kiss. It was everything she remembered, and still it was nothing.

Finally she pulled away, avoiding his eyes. "I have to go." Her voice was rough. "My family is waiting for me."

Elliot could only stand there and watch as Olivia disappeared into her apartment building. He desperately wanted to follow her, but he was slowly realizing that he was no longer in that part of her life. He'd had his chance with her, and he had blown it. But out of that came Molly, and he couldn't regret her, even if he could never see her. He already loved her, but that love left a huge hole in his heart.

"Please…"

In the building, Olivia made her way upstairs and to her apartment, where her little family waited on her. Brian was on the couch, holding Molly and bouncing her on his knee. They were both laughing, and their laughter lifted her spirits. Somehow she knew Elliot was still standing outside; she could just sense his presence, a habit that hadn't faded with time. But for the first time, she ignored it and made her way to the couch.

Brian smiled up at her. "Is everything okay?"

She sat down on the couch and snuggled into his side, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Everything is just fine."

"Good." He kissed her forehead sweetly. "I love you, Olivia."

Her gaze briefly flitted to the window.

"I love you, too, Brian."

The End.

A/N: Really think that's the end, but who knows? Thanks for reading, and please review!


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